Hello everyone! I’m 47, married, no kids. My DH and I have been TTC for 9 years already. I’ve got pregnant in 2012, but there was problem with my kidneys and doctors had to terminate pregnancy. There is a very high risk for me to get pregnant again. We decided to use services of surrogate mother. Surrogacy is forbidden by law in our country and we are looking for options abroad. Which country is better to go? Which clinics are better to address? How long it takes to find sm? I read that sometimes it takes years. Is that true? I’m not getting any younger. I’m afraid that my eggs won’t be valid in a couple of years. I don’t want to lose time. I’m afraid it may be too late for us and there will be no chance to become parents.
I'm so sorry about your situation dear! You made a great thing you came here. We are all in the same boat. Who else can understand better than we do? It was also hard for me to open up to people I don't know. But here we can receive support and understanding which sometimes we can't get from our family or friends. I know how hard it is to find a clinic. Recently I was in your shoes. Though search can take some time but eventually you'll find the best place for you! We found clinic in Europe. They've already found sm for us and we are waiting for our baby to see the world) I wish you good luck with your search!
Thank you so much for support! My congratulations! I'll consider your advices. It's so nice to talk to someone who is at the same boat. We've been TTC for so long... To be honest I'm exhausted. I want my surrogacy journey to start as soon as possible. I'm tired of waiting and hope for nothing. I believe surrogacy will give us a chance to live happily. I also decided to concentrate on European clinics. They have pretty reasonable prices. USA prices so high I doubt we can afford to have surrogacy there. I hope I'll find something during February. Don't want to waste time any more. I'll update as soon as there will be some news.
Hey there. I hope that you're doing good. I'm sorry for your kidney problem. A family is everything a person needs. And one must do every possible thing for it. Children, in fact, are a blessing. But life is also a precious thing. It's good that you chose surrogacy. It's a good option for your case. Surrogacy is getting successful all over the world. It gives a chance of having children to those who can't. So don't worry. And yes it is forbidden in many countries. You can go to Ukraine or India for your surrogacy. I don't know about the standards of India. But I've heard about clinics in Ukraine. You should surely give them a try. I hope that things go right for you. Best of luck. Take care of yourself. Much love.
Hey there. How are you? Its sad to hear about your kidney problem. You have taken a great decision. Surrogacy is quite common these day. I have been gathering information about this clinic in Ukraine. Surrogacy is legal there. The clinic has nice packages in there. Environment and staff is awesome. I think you must visit it. Good luck.
Hello everyone who is reading my thread! Thank you so much for your replies! I wasn't active for a while... I haven't done any research on surrogacy during more than a week... It makes me so angry at myself that I'm wasting time, but... There is a reason for my inaction. I don't want to whine and complain. I know that doing those things is just a waste of time. But I feel like I need to talk to someone. It feels like the whole world is against our intention to have a baby. Last week I met my old friend. We studied in college together. We met in a local supermarket. She was with her kids, 9 and 2 yo. Of course she started to ask about my kids and I told her I don't have one. And she was like "OH REALLY?" She was looking at me like I'm crazy person. The only thing I wanted to do at that moment is to disappear. I wanted to explain myself and I don't know how this happened but I told her that we are planning to have surrogacy. Usually I don't tell about it and only the closest people know about it. And what do you think she told me? "Oh honey, don't be stupid. It's too late for you. Just let it go." And she was stupidly smiling and she had that dumb smirk on her face as if she knows everything about me and can tell me what I have to do with my life. Not only I was mad at her, but I was mad at myself. Why? Why have I told that bitch about surrogacy? Why I even care what she thinks? I have so many thoughts in my head now! I'm so angry! Why do I care what someone who means nothing for me thinks about my choices? And I'm just sitting here, doubting my intentions to have surrogacy. What if she's right? What if it's too late for us? I hate this.
Hi dear! I really appreciate your support. Your words are so inspiring! Everything you've told is true. Nothing should stop me from my desire to have children. I want this more than anything else. Actually now it's the only thing I want in my life. We've been trying to conceive for so long... There is nothing I can do to return all the time back. So now I can't let myself to waste any minute. Thank you for sharing the details of surrogacy process. I will consider everything you've told. We've been thinking to ask someone a relative or a friend to be our surrogate. But we changed our mind. It will be better to you services of a stranger. I hope to find center or clinic which will rule the whole process.
Hello honey! With each day I'm more and more convinced that surrogacy is the best option for me to have children. Thank you for your advices! I read much information about European reproductive centers in the internet. I will definitely look more into them. There are really many professional clinics. The only thing which left for me is to find the best one. I hope to find as much information as I can to make my journey not perfect but at least to have as less troubles as I can. I know we can't predict everything but at least I can do my journey as smooth as I can.
Hi everyone! What news do you have? To be honest I've been stressed last couple of days... All these negative thoughts made me lost in time... I've been thinking over and over again about all that things which my "friend" told me. She made me doubt about my choice and this is not a good thing. This was a huge lesson for me. No one should stop us from reaching our goals. There are so many people who think they can tell us what to do. They judge us so easily. They don't even think they can hurt our feelings and our mind. But the thing is they don't know how we feel and what we have to face during our battle with infertility. The best thing for us is to just ignore them and do what is the best for us and our family. I understand that I was so stupid that I let her words to make me doubt in the thing which is now my only option to have children. I wasted so much time thinking about her words, thinking about her opinion which has nothing to do with me. I'm so glad to be back here. It made me so happy to see your replies, all your support. Thanks to you I'm back again. I will definitely continue my search about surrogacy. I don't have time for stress, depressions, for thinking if this option is good for me or not. Because I've already decided that surrogacy is the best for me and my husband. Anyway these days helped me to understand that no one and nothing will stop me from reaching my goal. I will never ever listen to anyone who would tell me surrogacy is wrong and not for me. I will do everything possible to make my family happy. To make myself happy. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I will definitely consider everything you've told me in my search. From now on I will find all information I need to start my surrogacy journey. This will be kind of a challenge for me. In a month I want to see huge result. I want my journey start in as soon as possible. So I will do everything to make it happen.
dear, that is a hard thing to bear.I cannot believe that you waited that long.You should have made this decision long ago.Well, you must go for surrogacy immediately.The clinics offer donor eggs as well and they can be fertilized with your husband's sperms.You may look into Biotexcom.They surely have really attractive packages.I have been hearing about them a lot.I have many success stories of them.Kindly search them
Hello everyone who is reading my thread! How you're doing? What news do you have? I have a little update and I want to share it with you. So a couple of days ago I met my other friend. And what do you think? She started asking me is it true that we are planning to use surrogacy. When I asked how she knows she told me that B told her about it. B is the friend I met at a supermarket. I can't believe she told everyone about it! I want to go back in time and take my words back! I suppose they discussed me and my plans about surrogacy. It drives me crazy when I think what they were talking about me. Anyway I can change nothing. I'm trying not to think about this situation. This is really stupid to think about what other people think about me. They know nothing about my life and situation I have. I'm keep going and looking for information about surrogacy. My husband and I will have a meeting with a lawyer in a couple of days. We want to discuss all aspects of surrogacy and how we can avoid risks. We have already made a list of questions which we want to discuss with our lawyer. I just wanted to ask maybe you have some advices what should we ask? I really want to know all information on law part. I hope we won't miss any detail.
Hello there deary. How are you doing? I hope that everything is fine at your end. I also wish you had a fantastic day today! As good as it gets at least. Your situation is dire, very dire. I am really sorry about you my dear friend. I wish there was something I could do for you. Unfortunately there isn't anything I can do about you. All I can do is show empathy and tell you that your not alone. There is much to come and you will find happiness. I think that... No, scrap that, I am sure that you will be a mother pretty soon. Maybe you will have to fight extra hard but you will make it none the less. Surrogacy can be tiring and boring... However things will get better eventually just keep moving forward.
So sad to hear about your situation. But never feel disappointed? Did the doctor say that you can never get pregnant? If not, then don't lose the hope. Pray to Lord Almighty, the supreme power. He will surely hear your prayers. I have a friend who got conceived in her 50th age after IVF treatment. So just try whether it is possible for you or not.
Hello OP! How is your surrogacy going? I'm so sorry about your situation. I also can't carry a baby. I had 6 MCs. I'm so exhausted and depressed. We are also thinking to try surrogacy. I've only started my search. I'm new to surrogacy and don't know much about it. But I hope to find some info here and on other forums. As I know for now US has the highest prices. Many women recommend European clinics. They have lowest prices for the same services. I didn't choose the exact country yet. All of them have different laws concerning surrogacy. I'm planning to consult with a lawyer first. I hope to see some updates from you!
I'm so sorry. It is very hard, and the majority of women who are fertile just do not understand. Like you, I long for a child. Right now it is just DH and me. And every day we pray for children. I always say I would be so happy if I could just have one, but really I know I want 2. Ironically, I think my faith in God has actually gotten stronger in this whole ordeal. I also realize that the testing of my faith makes me a stronger person. Even though I have not gotten my BFP yet, I feel the peace and comfort. Some days may be hard. Sometimes people can make us feel miserable. They can take away our hope by just saying a few words. But we should be strong for us, for our husbands and for our future children. I truly hope the above doesn't offend anyone who may not be religious whether it be because of infertility or not. It is totally normal to feel like God has forgotten about you when you are going through something like this that hurts so bad. It helps me to remember all of the blessings He has given me. And it also helps me to do something nice for someone else. Serving others gets my mind off of my infertility. Of course, it's easier said than done. I certainly don't always do the right thing, but I try anyway. My plans for the coming week are to send some flowers and good cheer to a friend who just had surgery and has NO family, no husband, no children, no parents, only one brother who lives very far away. Also I’ll bring some food and goodies to local animal shelter. It always makes me feel much better, especially when I have rough days.
