Hello, girls. I spent long 8 years trying to get pregnant. The treatment didn’t help and my doctor said we should think about the surrogacy. We found the clinic and started the examination. The embryo was transferred and in 21 days our surrogate got pregnant. She lives in a separate house but in the same city. We had to move to Ukraine because our medical center is located there. We signed an agreement, which says that we can visit our surrogate whenever we want. I thought that I would visit her 1-2 times a week… I was hoping so. Now she is 6 months pregnant and I’m getting crazy from day to day. At first I visited her once a week, then twice. Now I visit her every other day and I need more. I have to control her every single minute. I know that it is wrong. She needs her own space because she is a free person. But I’m worrying so much. I have to be sure that my baby is ok. Before the pregnancy beginning, I thought that the surrogate will have to live in our house. But I was wrong. She lives in a separate flat with one more surrogate. How can I be sure that she is eating healthy food? Or that she is not drinking alcohol or smoking? Once I asked her to go to the seaside with my husband and me. She rejected my offer. I can’t understand why. I’m trying to do everything possible to take care of her. Why doesn’t she want to spend more time with me? Doesn’t she understand that she is pregnant with my baby! Should I give her more space? Please, help.
Hi, Fransis. I think you should keep calm a little bit. You have gone through difficult 8 years. You are too nervous. Your surrogate mother is a free person, which is just helping you to realize your dream. My baby was also born by the surrogate mother. We had an agreement and we were following it carefully. Why don't you trust her? If I'm not mistaken your surrogate is taking regular blood tests. The doctor should show you the results. If the results are ok you have nothing to worry about. What a crazy idea to live in the same house with the surrogate. How can you allow unknown woman live with you and your husband? Please, don't do it. You have to keep calm for 3 months only. In 3 months your life will change completely. So, why don't you start thinking about your future. Prepare your baby's room, buy baby's clothes… Do whatever you want but stop torturing your surrogate mother. Try to talk to this girl. Explain her that you don't want to be too annoying but you care about her. Remember that she is pregnant and she takes everything too close. You should be very careful. Your baby's health depends on her condition. Don't make her to be nervous. Ask your husband to help you. This is your last chance to spend more time together. In 3 months you will have to take care of your baby. You will have no time for each other. Go to the theater, visit museums, go to the restaurant. Add some romance to your life. I'm sure it will help you to stop worrying.
Hello, Phoebe! Trust your service provider. I know that the staff of the clinic are giving all their efforts to secure the surrogates. You can actually visit your surrogate and give her nutritious food to eat like fresh fruit juice.
Hello and welcome friend at this digital platform. I want to congratulation for this unforgettable moment in your life. You should trust on your service provider to achieve your target with healthy baby gift. I can understand your physical and mental stage at this time. It is time that you should keep patience little bit. It is good signal that you are on right path. This is unforgettable moment in my life to help you to defeat this difficult problem in your life in easy and effective on behalf of my life experience to enjoy healthy baby gift through surrogacy treatment. I am feeling happy to see that you have real bonding with your husband to understand each other physical needs and emotion very well to balance in your marriage life. It is your right to check regular blood test of your surrogate mother in legal way. You should hire surrogate mother in proper legal way that is beneficial for you in long way. You can ask result report from doctor to get satisfaction and clear your doubts. You should understand the importance of wait and watch policy. You have to just wait for 3 month by removing stress and depression from your life. You can start effective yoga and meditation to reduce negative energy from your body and mind to maintain your body in balance. This is golden opportunity in your life to celebrate with enjoy just after 3 month like me. You should choose positive attitude towards life that provide sufficient confidence and energy to face this horrible problem in simple way. I hope my valuable suggestion guide you to right path to achieve your aim in short time period. I am waiting for your reply to get good news like me.
Hello Phoeben. I understand your situation, as a mother you are very concerned about your baby. But surrogate also need her own time. Deal her patiently and in worst situation call to the agency or clinic from where you choose your surrogate. Good Luck.
Hi dear. I can understand your pain as I suffered from infertility too. I used surrogacy to get a child but I was blessed that I consulted with Lotus surrogacy center for that. They helped me a lot and now I am a happy mother of a sweet baby boy. As a woman who has both carried and miscarried my own children, I can relate to the need, fulfillment, and regret of having and losing my own babies. I would recommend, rather than look into surrogacy first ( which can be hard on a woman who is already mentally dealing with her own empty womb) to seek the help of an herbalist, nutritionist, or do your own research on detox, diet, and remedies for a miscarrying womb. In my experience the emptiness felt after a miscarriage is the most scarring part of a loss, the most mentally recognizable aspect, so seeing another woman with a full womb, especially with her child, may not be the best for her mental health. Discuss all options as they come up with your husband, don't research and decide behind her back but be open so you can avoid hurting him by your suggestions.If you are interested I can give you information on some herb blends like 'welcome womb' 'miscarry not' (I've used this myself) and pregnancy health blends for nutrition and strength. The doctors cannot yet explain the why's to miscarriage all the time, and it’s hard, and if you need someone to talk to I'm here. May God bless you and lead you to the right decision!! I hope my experience and tips will motivate you and you will soon be a mother of a healthy child. Wishing you all the luck for future motherhood. Be safe and stay blessed.
Hello Phoebe! I'm in the same boat. I have been trying to conceive for 8 years. I had 6 miscarriages. Unfortunately my infertility is unexplained. So now surrogacy is an option I am looking into. I didn't start my journey yet. Now I'm doing my research on it. I really hope to start the process as soon as possible. I understand why you want to spend each second of the pregnancy with your surrogate. She carries your baby. So you want to be sure she's doing everything right. At the same time I think maybe she needs personal space. Being pregnant is not an easy thing. Maybe your attention is too much for her. I think it should be important for her to carry a healthy baby. You can't control her 24/7. If she wants to smoke or drink she will find her ways to do so. But as I know clinics do some checks or something like that. I think you should try not to worry that much. I can't be objective in such situation because my journey is waiting for me. I think I will also be the same as you about my surrogate.
You know what dear? I personally think that it is very good to do surrogacy in a well known and professional clinic. These people know what they are doing. The surrogate mother in the majority of the professional clinics I have seen, go through a strict healthy diet. Also they make them do the right type of exercise. When you think about it this is a double edged knife. I want the surrogate mother to be careful nut I also don't want the agency to treat her like a machine. That has happened in the past. There are documented facts about it. I don't really think you should worry that much. As I mentioned these people know what they are doing. If something goes wrong for you their image is affected badly. That is the last thing they want. Try not to think about bad things and focus on the positive. Hopefully nothing will go wrong. Wish you well dear. Don't forget to update us when the baby comes.
Oh my god... Your story is one of the saddest I have ever seen. I feel really really bad for you dear. Only if there was anything I could do to help. I don't think you'd need it. You are one of those amazing people I always look up to. People who don't care at all about how many bad things life throws at them, they keep fighting on and on. Cheers to you dear! I wish you happiness in life and in eternity. You deserve it more than anybody else.
Thank you honey! Your kind words warm my heart. I appreciate your support! Reading search replies gives me power to be strong no matter what. Sometimes I think that the whole situation I'm in is the end of the world. But then I think that I'm so lucky that there are options I can use and have a baby I am dreaming about for so long time. When I think than in a couple of years I will have complete family, it gives me hope I will go through all this.
Estella, thank you for your kind words. I'm very sorry that you have an unexplained infertility. You know, surrogacy really helps to solve this problem. I'm feeling much better now. I tried to calm down and I did it. Actually, I decided to go to the gym. I spend there every single day. It helps me to relax and stop thinking of the surrogate. In your situation I recommend you to start the surrogacy program as soon as possible. There are a lot of clinics, which offer this service on the highest level. Prices are pretty high. But you can choose the most appropriate package. After 6 MCs you just have to become a mother, dear. I'm sure you will be fine. Wish you all the best and don't forget to write how are you doing.
Hi, If I were that SM I wouldn't go with you. She needs her space. Sounds like you are chocking her with your presence every time. If she signed up to be a SM, trust me she will not drink or smoke. Unless the surrogacy is commercial which I do not think it is. Plus, you need not develop a relationship with her which is what you were trying to do by telling her to spend time with you. Just give her some space. Do not stress her out. Maybe you do not know much about surrogacy. You can learn that here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg15WUWvvl_jWlq45hP0NXQ
Thank you so much for support dear. I am really into surrogacy now. Though I'm a little bit stuck now. I really hope to start my journey in 2018. I was pretty stressed lately, but now I'm back to search. My husband and I did all needed medical checks again. So I hope we will start surrogacy process soon.
