need to hear someone who used donor eggs

Hi everyone! I'm new here, I'm 44. Last year I had failed try of IVF with my own eggs. Now doctors say I need to use donor eggs. This is my only chance to become a mother. My husband and I discussed this option. We've been thinking about it for a couple of months now. But both of us feel like we are not mentally ready for this step. It will be a child from a stranger... Kind of... But still it will be my dh baby. I'm confused. How will I feel about this child? Maybe that's just because of the lack of information. Maybe I'm stupid and don't get it right. It would be great to talk to someone who underwent this process and knows the whole procedure. How do you feel now after you were carrying them 9 months and gave birth and they call you "mommy"? What do you feel towards your babies?

 

Thank you so much for your support! I really needed to hear those words. I'm starting to think about this process differently thanks to such posts as yours. Your doctor is a very wise person! My congratulations with you becoming a mom! I'm so happy to know about your experience! May I ask you a couple of questions? How did you find your donor? What did you consider in your search? I'll appreciate any information!

 

Hello, Hally! You are thinking negatively. Your child will dear you so much. I know even he/she does belong to you biologically, you will still be fulfilled. You can always be a mother. You will feel the joy and thrill of motherhood. I will encourage you to continue your IVF journey.

 

Hello! Thank you so much for your kind response. Your words made me feel much better! Now I'm more into the procedure. I still have some thoughts running into my mind. Despite them I feel more confident in to using donor eggs. I'm sorry for my late reply. I wasn't active for a while. I was busy with the search. I should say there is so much information and all of it is so confusing. Also I found out about age limits and it kind of scared me. It turned out that each country has specific age limit for donor eggs recipient. This number varies from 45 to 50 years old. It suddenly crossed my mind that I have no time to waste! I will turn 45 soon. There is no time to think if this option is right for me or if I'm really ready for it. There is no time to waste on doubts and confusions. So now I'm fully on board! I talked to my hubby and he also thinks we should go for it.

 

Hello hally! As you might know I'm currently looking for information about ivf with donor eggs, where and how it can be done, etc. I'm 36 yo and I was diagnosed with premature menopause. I'm new to all this donor stuff and I also have some doubts. I was not sure how will I feel about my baby if it's from donor. I read many comments from women who are at the same situation as we are. Knowing that your child is not really yours is very stressing and confusing. I understand that the most important is that you'll carry a baby and give birth. Many ladies who underwent this procedure tell that they don't feel differently toward their kids. But when you are at the very beginning of this path it's hard to percept thoughts about donor right away and ignore your doubts. Some women chose to be childless because they can't even accept an idea of having a baby from donor.

Yesterday I was browsing the internet looking for needed information(as I do last couple of weeks). I found some interesting articles about research on ivf with donor eggs. Scientists made 'amazing discovery' as it's revealed infertile mothers who use donor eggs DO pass their DNA to their children. This discovery was made only a year ago. I think that's amazing! It was previously believed that the fertilised egg used to make the embryo only had DNA from the father and donor mother. 'One sadness infertile women experience is that their child has none of their genetic information.' And this is so true! To be honest when I was told my only option is to use de I was broken. I was always dreaming about big family, about children, about happiness I've never had. I'm an orphan and I've never had loving parents, sisters and brothers. My childhood was not sweet at all. I've been dreaming that when I grow up, I will merry kind and loving man and we'll create family I've never had. When I've got to know I'm infertile I felt so miserable. And even option of having baby through de ivf didn't make me feel better.

The info about this research really inspired me and changed my mood about this procedure. I decided to share it with you. Maybe it will be helpful for other women like us who struggle infertility and scared to accept this option.

 

Hi Jessica! This's very interesting information I should say! Thank you for sharing it with us. I'm pregnant and I used donor eggs. I know what doubts you're talking about. I had them too. I think all women who choose de ivf as an option have doubts and uncertainty. It took me more than a year to decide if I really ready to go this way. My husband was 100% positive about de ivf option. Why wouldn't he, right? There is nothing to worry about for him. It will be his child with his features and his blood. But for me it was tough decision. I knew baby won't be genetically related with me. I knew the baby might even not look like me. To be honest I was scared... I was thinking up scenarios like someone telling me that my child has nothing similar with me. I thought everyone will know for sure that I'm not a real mother of a baby. Now all these thoughts seem so ridiculous to me! I was so happy when pregnancy test showed positive result. And I was so happy when doctor confirmed it. All thoughts about donor eggs, doubts, dumb scenarios just faded away! This is my child and I'm his/her mother! Nothing else matters. I didn't know about this research at that period of time. I think it would make me decide on the procedure right away. Information about this research should be spread on each fertility forum. Many women refuse de ivf option because they think they won't be able to love a baby from another woman. Speaking about appearance problem, we sent a list to our manager with features which we wanted our donor to have. We put there description of my appearance, so our doctor chose donor who looks like me.

 

You're welcome! I'm happy this info is as helpful as it was for me when I've just found it. My congratulations with your pregnancy! This is so nice to talk to someone who understands what I feel! You're reading my mind. My dh has no doubts at all! Oh dear I'm reading your words and it seems like it was me who wrote them! I feel totally the same now. You're right, this research made me to look at this procedure with new eyes. Thank you so much for your reply! Your words are so inspiring. Now I feel even more confident in this decision and I hope we'll start our journey asap! I really hope to see more updates from you about your condition and your baby! And of course I’d like to know more about the exact process, search of a clinic and the clinic itself. I really hope for your help! And again thank you for support.

 

Hello Jessica! I'm so sorry you faced such diagnosis in such a young age. You are right! The only thing, which stops women from using donor eggs, is understanding that their baby will be not related to them. I should say thinking about this was driving me crazy. When I read about women experience and how they are happy after using donor egg I feel more confident in this procedure. They say they don't feel their baby is from a donor or something like that. And this is the most important to feel that baby is yours and only yours.

Thank you so much for sharing this research with us! I've never heard about it. I think this research changes everything! It will help women like us to forget about all doubts for sure! Do you have a link for the research you’ve mentioned? I would like to read more about it. I'm really grateful for your reply because you made me to look at the whole procedure even more positively!

How is your search going? Do you know in which country you will have de ivf? I'm still in search though I decided to concentrate on European clinics. I should say I am nervous a bit. I will turn 45 a very soon. As you might know all countries have their own age limits for the procedure. For me it's much harder to find suitable clinic. Still there are some options so I will dig more to find the best one. I wish you best of luck! It would be really nice if you continue to share updates of your search.

 

Hi Krystal! My congratulations to you and your dh! I'm so glad you joined us! I really wanted to talk to someone who used donor eggs. I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who was uncertain about the procedure. Now my husband is fully on board. He thinks that it is perfect option for us. This's so true that it's much easier for men to accept the idea of having a baby from a donor. I'm reading your post and I recognize my thoughts! Even now when I feel more confident in the procedure I still build up scenarios in my head. I'm really happy for you! I'm so relieved to know that your thoughts and feelings changed now when you’re pregnant. May I ask you some questions about your journey? How did you find your clinic? What should we pay attention to? How much tries of ivf did you have? It would be nice if you share some information and advices!

 

Hello everyone who is following my thread! I'm sorry I wasn’t active for a while. Last couple of weeks I was really busy. I should say I wasn't in a mood to post anything as I was feeling a little bit stressed. I had to visit two baby showers in last two weeks. That's crazy how many baby showers I visited during all these years! But I didn't have my own which makes me so sad. At first I thought not to go but the idea that very soon I might have my own baby shower gave me strength. Also the hardest part of it is to choose presents. I should say it can be very painful. And also usually people talk about their children on such events. I should say everything which considers baby shower is hard for me now. How do you cope with pregnancy announcements and baby showers? What give you strength to go through that? I should say for me it was always hard. I think I will be able to enjoy such parties only when I'll have my own child.

 

Thank you for support Hally!

I'm currently looking for information on different countries and their clinic. I want to compare success rates, prices and services. So then it will be easier to choose. I'm not sure yet but we are also looking more into Europe. Clinics there have lower prices. The thing is that reviews are so controversial... I think we need more time to pick the right one. I will definitely keep posting! I wish you good luck with your search.

Here is the link http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...mothers-use-donor-eggs-pass-DNA-children.html . Actually it's just one of dozens I found. This was more informative I guess.

 

Thank you Jessica! I believe this information will definitely help many women here to mentally accept the idea of using eggs of a donor. I think that such communities really help to go through infertility struggles. No one can understand us batter then women who faced problems in trying to conceive. I'm glad that my experience can help someone in their journey. I will keep posting! And if you have any questions please feel free to ask. I'm always ready to talk and help. I will share more information and answer your questions in your thread. I wish you best of luck with your search and of course good luck with your upcoming procedure!

 

Thank you for your kind words! I'm happy my experience can help. I know exactly what you are talking about! When I was at the beginning of my journey and I was looking for information, successful stories really helped me to find answers. Not only they were useful for my own journey but also they helped me mentally. When I was reading them I was feeling like there are women who understand me and I'm not alone. Of course I could talk with my husband but he will never understand what exactly is on my mind and in my heart. I think men look at this procedure in a completely different way. In no way they can feel what we feel and how we think about using eggs of a donor. That's why such communities are the perfect places to talk about your feelings and emotions. Only here we can be ourselves and tell everything what is on our mind. Yes now I feel differently toward my baby but I still remember how I felt before. It is very important to find someone who can relate to your situation and help you to find the best way out.

My journey started in European clinic. I'm really glad we chose to go abroad. Not only we saved some money for our child, but also the clinic made everything for us to enjoy the process. There are many clinics of reproductive medicine there, but our is working with foreign patients. Be careful and pay attention to every single detail during your search. There are many fake agencies and scammers out there who make money on such people as we are. Pay attention to reviews of a clinic you have a preference for. There’s nothing like finding out what others say about a clinic. I can advise you to find how clinics choose donors for their programs. Which diseases are they screened for? These are all very important questions because you want to be sure that your donor is free from any infectious or genetic diseases. Don't forget to find out if there are any hidden costs. Sometimes the headline price for treatment seems good value. But once you read further you find that certain tests are excluded or essential procedures are extra. For example, some clinics may not include embryo freezing in their price for treatment. A good idea is to have a set of criteria which you can use to compare one clinic with another. I had 2 tries in general. I've got pregnant from the first one. Our clinic has high success rates. It was a major factor which convinced us to choose it. If you have any questions or just want to talk you know where to find me!

 

Thank you Krystal! I also have hope that this research will be spreading more on forums. So other girls could see it, which make the whole de situation easier for them to accept. I'm so happy I came here! I receive so much support. Here I found information which is so helpful in my search. And of course people here are so kind and supportive! All of you give me strength and hope.

 

Hi, Hally, I know it is hard to accept the fact that you cannot become a mother naturally. I don’t think there is anything wrong with getting pregnant with donor eggs. At least the baby will have a genetic connection with your husband. You will be carrying that baby with you for the long 9 months. You will get attached to the baby even before he or she is born. Don’t think that it will be hard to get attached to the baby. You will be the one carrying him or her for the first. You will be feeding him. I am sure you will love your baby.

 

Ohh dear you are giving yourelf worries that aren't real. Why worry about that? people adopt and still can live happly life after that. NOt that adoption is wrong or anything but... Think about it for a second. There is no correlation between them. The parents and the adopted! At least not a genetic one. IN your case things are different. That child although with somebodies else egg with have your DNA. It will be written all over him/her don't worry about it. The baby will be part of you for 9 months. Don't stress about this too much. You'd be amazed to know how much the baby will be like you. It will be 100 percent yours to cherish. May god bless you and your DH with patience and happiness.

 

Hey, dear, you are just stressing out too much! But, I totally get how you are feeling right now! I had these jitters as well before going through the DE procedure, but I got myself settled at the thought that the child I was going to carry in my womb for the next nine months is going to call me mommy and not anybody else! He/she would be every bit of my child as my husband's and I should not worry about anything else! I gave birth to my beautiful twin children and I cannot express the happiness I felt when I held them in my arms! Trust me, all these doubts and insecurities would go away in a flash when you'll hold your baby in your arms and when you'll watch them crawl up to you calling you mommy! Don't stress out and just go for the treatment and be a mommy! It's worth it x

 

Hello everyone!!! I hope you all are doing good.I thought that I should share my treatment experience with you all. It was a little tough but on the whole but a great experience. I took this treatment from a clinic in Ukraine. As we all know that Ukraine offers most types of assisted reproduction. Surrogacy and all fertility treatments available in the Ukraine are regulated by the Family and Civil Codes and by the Law on Health Fundamentals of Ukraine, which is a core Order of the Ministry of Healthcare of Ukraine. Moreover it is one the cheapest centres accross the globe.The staff at my clinic is really coperative and helpful. Mostly doctors are trained to high international standards and are very attentive and caring. My doctor is really good & always available if I have any doubts. I must say that they have so good experience that you are hardly left with any doubts. All you can think about is the baby which will soon be in your arms. One main reason because of which I chose to get treatment in Ukraine is the history of succes rates for IVF in Ukraine. If you want any help, feel free to message me personally. I will be more than happy to help you. Stay happy and positive. There is nothing bad in going for donor eggs at all.

 

Hally... its very natural to think like this while undergoing IVF with donor eggs. Every women thought like this oncewhile having IVF. Apart from all this, you should think that the child will grow within you and you are gonna find happiness of your life only because of this child. When you start thinkling tlike this, things will settle down easily & you will start feeling connection with the child. My siister also had infertility issue, duw to with she underwent IVF from Biotexcom in Ukrain. Just like you she was also very concious whether she will feel connection with child or not. But all thanks to clinic. They made her realise that the child will belong to her entirely. She is then completely get ready for treatment. Now, she has a lovely baby girl. She loves her like her own biological child & this is natural. We automatically start feeling connection when we spend time with the child. So, don't think negative. Just make your mind & go for it. Good Luck.

 

If you are looking for a clinic that offers IVF egg donation, than only one name comes to my mind "Biotexcom" , They have helped my niece in curing her infertility problem and i am definitely sure that they will also help you curing yours and conceiving a baby.I was with her during the ttime of treatment theyy have also helped me in having i child, In the BioTexCom you will be given clear answers to all your questions, fast feedback on all your enquiries and transparent payments schedule with no hidden costs.BioTexCom is the best choice to fulfill IVF, egg donation or surrogacy programs. You will find here good prices which are chipper than the European ones. Good price, high level of services, professional doctors with solid experience of work and of course beautiful country with a welcoming friendly people.Good luck xxxx and if you want more information than reply me
or you can check their website.