my friend needs some help

Discussion in 'Trying to Conceive' started by ann, Aug 16, 2018.

  1. ann

    ann New Member

    Hello, everybody.

    You know, my friend needs some help. Just an advice or some information. She is 42, and she cannot have her own baby. She turned to IVF. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a success. Now she is really frustrated. She doesn’t know what to do and hope to cope with the problem. She really wants to be a mother, but because of this failure she hesitates. She is not sure that she may continue. She is just afraid that the next attempt will not be successful too.

    She is married and has a wonderful husband. He is always with her. He says, that he is ready to try again. He wants to continue trying to make his family full. But his wife can’t get herself together. So, maybe somebody was in the same situation? Or maybe somebody have heard about such stories and knows what to do. Please help. Any advice will be useful. I don’t know how to encourage my friend. I know that I need support her, but I don’t know how to do it better. As far as I know IVF works in 90%. And failures are only in the other 10%. Unfortunately, my friend wasn’t lucky. But I am sure, that she will able to become a mother. Now I want her to be more confident in herself. How I can’t achieve it? Thanks for any advice. Hope, that my friend will be fine.
     
  2. tina

    tina New Member

    Hello!

    You know, I turned to IVF too. Now I am a happy mother of a completely healthy child. I am so glad that, because my husband and I can have a full family. I got pregnant after the first try. But I know, that sometimes there may be several unsuccessful attempts. Sometimes it is connected with the doctors, sometimes with the woman’s health. In such situations it is important not to give up. Your friend shouldn’t worry and continue trying.

    Also, you know, maybe she needs to consult some other doctors. Sometimes it is really help. Now she is in a situation, when support is really needed. She should try one more time only if she is ready for it. In such situation most of the women are very disappointed, they don’t believe in a success any more. So, she needs to feel that you are not alone. If her family with her, encourages her, it is great. She should be strong. It is not the right time to hesitate. If she wants to become a mother, she needs to believe in herself, in doctors. If so, everything will be great. Optimistic mood is really important. She should remember about it. She needs to decide whether she really wants to continue and has enough power. Now she needs to calm down and forget about failures. I now it is difficult, but it is necessary. She needs to understand that her attitude to it is the most important thing. Hope that she will be fine. I am sure she will be able to become a great mother. Wish you and your friend good luck. God bless you!
     
  3. ann

    ann New Member

    Thanks so much for the quick answer. This information is really important for me. Of course you are right. It is very responsible and serious step. My friend understands it too. You know she is going to visit one of the clinics next month. She says, the doctors are good, as far as I know. The conditions are great too. She will need to pass some tests. But her husband wants to visit two or three more clinics. He wants to compare them and decide which of them is better. He decided to turn to clinics in different countries. He has heard lots of information about them. People say, that they are pretty good. Their reputation is very high. They are considered to be the best in the world. By the way, you say that you got pregnant from the first attempt. It is really great. I know that it depends on doctors and your health. Say, what clinic did you choose? What country did you turn to? Why did you make this decision? Is the clinic really good? Maybe I need to visit it too, but I am not confident. I know that IVF programs are all the same in different clinics, so they are going to pass tests in different clinics. Now they try to collect as much information as they can about different clinics in the world. I want to do all my best to support my friend so this period is the most important. So, maybe you can tell me a little about the clinic you turn to? What about the doctors? And what about the conditions? Was it expensive?
     
  4. tina

    tina New Member

    Oh, I can help you. Well, I visited Ukraine. May be you know about the clinic BioTexCom. I think this clinic is good enough. You know, I think that your friend may turn to it and compare to the others. Maybe she will like it more, maybe not. It will be only her decision. But if you ask me whether I recommend this clinic, my answer will be positive.
     
  5. ann

    ann New Member

    Thank you very much! You really helped. I am happy to get your advice. And this is really important. I will tell my friend about this clinic. I think all that you told would help not only her. Mothering is my friends’ dream from the young age. Hope that she will be able to make her spouse happy soon. He wants to be a parent too. I believe that good specialists can help them. They are ready to trust the doctors. But I want to make sure that they really know what they do. Thanks so much! God bless you! Be happy!
     
  6. tina

    tina New Member

    You are welcome.

    By the way, I think it will be useful for your friend too. The diet is really important too. She will need to forget about some products and add some new. It maybe a bit surprisingly for you. I was a little shocked at first. Well, you know, this information I have got from doctors. I turned to doctors from several different clinics and asked them for the advice. Well, I knew lot’s of useful information. For example, it is true that it is better to forget about coffee. This product is not useful and is not needed in the diet. It can only cause harm to your health. Especially during IVF procedure. The same is about the black tea. She’d better not to drink it. Try concentrate on green tea. Ideally she needs to drink clean water. Lot’s of water. Maybe it will be difficult for her at the beginning, but them she will get used to it. She shouldn’t drink lot’s of salty drinks in big amounts too. It is not useful. Lot’s of salt in an organism is not desired anyway, so pay attention to it.

    By the way, it is important to eat products with protein. Don’t forget about fruits and vegetables. But she shouldn’t eat lot’s of potato and cabbage. These products are not desired in her everyday menu too. It was difficult for me to get used to this diet at first, but then everything was great. I hope that you will be fine too. Be sure this advice will help her. Hope she will become a mother soon. Wish you good luck! God bless you!
     
  7. ann

    ann New Member

    Oh, thank you. I hope that not only my friend but a lot of women will find it useful and interesting. The information you shared with us is really important. IVF is very responsible step. In this period of time ladies want to do all that they can to achieve the goal. That's why they want to do everything correctly. And it is right. But there are lot’s of cases when a woman is afraid to turn to IVF because she can’t find the answers to her questions. These details are so minor, but they are so needed. I hope that my friend will think about them.

    I am sure that all these points she will find useful. I will tell her about it. I hope that she won’t hesitate. I will try to calm her down and make her feel less nervous. Now she is not ready to continue trying. And you are right, maybe she needs some time. Within several months she will be much confident and this will help her to move on. Her family is always with her. They try to encourage her. Her husband loves her and wants to make her happy. And she loves him and wants their family to be full. She hopes to become a mother one day.

    I know how it is difficult for my friend. That’s why I want to wish every woman to be strong. Just remember, that only confidence in your power will help you to achieve the desired goal. Never give up. Every failure should make you stronger, but not weaker. Be ready to try again and again. Remember about positive thinking. Hope that everything will be fine. Good luck everybody! Good luck, Tina!
     

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