I don't feel like myself and dear hubby ever make time for romance anywhere since our last set of twins was born. We are both too tired. We've talked about this issue before and he seems just as fine with cuddling and watching TV most nights if we can end up in bed at same time as actually having romance. I think this is our version of romance for being so exhausted. I hope this does not ruin our relationship but we have decided that we are in this for the long haul and our family is the priority, not personal pleasures. Though it would be nice to have my romantic partner back.
While your spouse might say it's no big deal to him, he's likely only saying this for your benefit. And, that does not mean he is happy without the love. It's one thing to forgo lovemaking on a regular basis but to never have it could be a sign of impending trouble for your marriage.
Having the twins as the reason for not having romantic relationships - what might be more romantic and lovely? I mean, seriously, we have no children and I do not even remember the last day I felt the romance between us. Work, work, work… We barely see each other in bed! I mean from time to time I come so late that he is already sleeping. Otherwise, he is coming so late that I am sleeping on the couch, where I was waiting for a hubby to come home. I remember ourselves as the dreamers. We have been together since 18, and now we both are 27 already. Jeeez, time flies! After the first year I remember him saying that he does not want this romantic period to end like EVER. It is a common fact that people stop paying extra attention to each other after a while. We were the ones never believed that. Look where we are now. We were so obsessed with the money and good life that completely forgot that our life is good because of each other. Honestly, I do not need all those stuff we are buying weekly unless he is not with me. The last time we had a vacation together was 2 years ago already. I cannot imagine what will happen when we have kids. If we have kids…
After the arrival of a baby, the relationship between the partners change. And the entire change is not for a small period, it sometimes takes months and years to get back to the older romantic version. After the baby people generally feel that they are now parents and this word itself comes with loads of liabilities and responsibilities. But getting back on the track surely take lot of time and energy and that is what we don’t have after the baby. I had been through the same wherein my husband and me became distant after our twins was born. It seemed as if there was no love, affection or intimacy left between us. All we use to do was quarrelling frequently over things which at one point of time totally irrelevant. So to cope up with an additional stress that me and husband were going through we decided to meet my therapist friend. She gave us few techniques and tactics with the help of which both of us came back on track after the baby’s arrival. The basic thing is teamwork and if you and your partner work together like a team this problem will fade away before you both even realize it. Involve your husband in your household chores, one day he can do the cleaning and you take care of baby and other day vice versa. Apart from this, have some alone time together with your partner of course. Go on dinner dates, cuddle with each other, have crazy sex and just pretend that nothing has changed at all. Ensure that you get help to take care of your baby when you are away with your husband. Get a nanny or involve the grandparents as they have a better experience than you. Hope it helped!
