Hello, everyone. I feel like my life is over. Two weeks ago I had a miscarriage. We were trying to get pregnant for 3 years. I was so happy when it happened. My husband was even happier than me. He was always saying that he dreams to have a son. I feel like I’m guilty that I destroyed his dream. My doctor said that even if I get pregnant again there’s no chance that I will be able to give birth to my baby. So, I should be very careful because I can easily hurt my health. Is it fair? I have so many friends, which have kids. Some of them even have 2 or three kids. I visit them, play with their kids, buy them cool presents. Then I go home and start crying. I’m so miserable. I see that my husband is tired of this situation and… He is tired of me. I’m almost sure that he is going to break up with me. My mother offered us to adopt a child. But my husband said No. He doesn’t want to adopt somebody’s baby. He said that it is too dangerous to adopt a baby if we don’t know its genetics. I don’t agree with him… I think all kids are great and it depends on us what person he or she will become. But what can I do? We should make this decision together. My mother said that she didn’t have any problems while getting pregnant. I also have two brothers, which are younger than me. They already have kids. So, why did it happen to me? What did I do wrong? Please, help me. What should I do?
Oh, I am so sorry about your story. I think it is good to adopt a child for now so that it will help ease the pain inside your heart. Talk to your husband heartily. Then, when you get pregnant again. You should have a bed rest. I think your condition is very delicate and sensitive. So better follow your doctor.
Hello. Looks like you are ready to give up. How old are you? First of all, you should stay positive whatever happens. Even if your doctor says that you are unable to give birth to your baby, don’t give up. Keep doing everything possible to realize your dream. I know a lot of couples, which found out that they are infertile. Some of them got pregnant with the help of some treatments. Others adopted kids. And the smartest of them used the help of the surrogate mother. By the way, my son was born by the surrogate. I really appreciate my friend, who told me about surrogacy. Now I know that it can help every infertile couple to become parents. First of all find the reproduction center. Discuss your situation with the doctor. If there’s a chance for you to get pregnant – the doctor will tell you. There are a lot of modern treatments, which make miracles. Personally I’ve chosen the medical center in Ukraine. We are not rich people, that’s why we were looking for cheaper variants. But the quality also matters! Every medical center has a database of donors and surrogate mothers. You will be allowed to see your surrogate mother. After the embryo transfer you will be able to visit her as often as you wish. But try not to be too annoying. Remember that she is just working for you. You asked what are you doing wrong. Don’t think that it’s your false. God gives kids to everyone who is ready to get them. I’m sure that you will become a parent when you are ready. Stay positive and don’t give up. I wish you all the best.
I was in similar situation when I was 35. I dreamed to get pregnant but my doctor said that I’m infertile. It was a real disaster because two days before this I found out that my husband has a girlfriend. When I told him that we will never have kids he left me. I stayed alone in our huge house. Alone with my infertility. My mother moved to my place because she thought that I could kill myself. To say truth, I had similar thoughts. But I was not going to do it. But I was so miserable. I thought my life will never be the same. Now I know how wrong I was. Now I can say that my life is much better than it was before. I got married one more time in 3 years after divorce. When my second husband found out that I’m infertile he said that it’s not a problem. He started looking for solutions. That’s how we found out about the surrogacy. I couldn’t believe that I got a chance to get my biological baby. I was even ready to adopt but it was much better. We found this amazing reproduction center in Ukraine. I liked our doctor from the first day. He said that my age and health condition allows him to use my eggs. My husband’s sperm was also ok. So we started the treatment. After all the examinations they found a great surrogate mother for us. She was young and healthy. I know that she has a great daughter. I saw her several times when I was visiting them. We found out that she was pregnant in 21 days after the embryo transfer. Can you imagine how happy I was? I remembered that day for the rest of my life.
I am feeling so sorry for your baby lost problem. I can understand your mental stage at this time. It is time to accept this horrible problem in your life with positive attitude toward life that helps you to enhance your confidence and energy level. I want to pray God to provide valuable energy to defeat this horrible demon problem in your life. You should not lose hope. It is time to learn from your past mistakes. It is not good news that you are not aware about your health. You should not compromise with your health at any cost. You have to pay more in future with less physical activity and body signal awareness very well. I also face same problem like you in my life. The first and foremost thing I want to suggest you to handle this difficult situation with medical research based treatment like IVF test tube baby treatment and surrogacy treatment that is the right way to diagnose. You are not alone there are 20% women all over the world who face miscarriage problem in their life. You should be very informative to understand your body signal very well to defeat all miscarriage possibility in early stage. It is clear signal that your body hormone level is not in balance. You should start your planning from day first with proper diet plan and healthy lifestyle to achieve your target in short time period like me to enjoy healthy baby gift that fulfill your whole life with happiness. You can consult with IVF test tube and surrogate clinic to clear your doubts and cause of miscarriage problem. You should choose complete legal way to avoid all type of future problem in smart way.
I am really sorry for you. I know you are going through the bad phase in life. But this time you need the complete support, care and love of your partner. Your story sounds similar to me and I know how it feels to live without being mother after getting married. But I never lose the hope and visit to Lotus Clinic where I get the hope and able to conceive the healthy and lovely baby. I know it is very difficult to handle the situation right now but you need be strong and defeat the infertility issues. It is true that miscarriage and imbalance of the hormones cause the miscarriage and bring the infertility issues in life. But you are living in the advance medical research generation where everything is possible and you can become the mother and make the dream true. It is the dream of every woman to become mother. IVF and surrogacy is the ultimate and best option for you. You can consult with the Lotus Clinic and get the best treatment which is suitable for you. Lotus Clinic is affordable and recommended place to get the best infertility treatment. Now you do not need to get panic and get the affordable surrogacy treatment and surely God will bring the happiness in your life and you would be able to play with your own child. I pray to God for your well wishes. Along with the treatment you need to continue the healthy diets and go for the morning walk daily. You just need to make little efforts and take care about health properly. I wish you all the best. Stay blessed and keep smiling.
I am sorry you are suffering from all this. Don't be disheartened, there are many ways of having baby. You can go for IVF or IUI and you have some serious health issue then you may consider surrogacy. Hope you become parents soon. Good Luck.
3 years is a long time. What was the cause of your MC? Your doctor seems to be convinced that even of you get pregnant the chances of survival are minimal. Did he/she explain why? If your husband does not want a child who does not have your genes, how about you try IVF. Or you can donate your eggs to a surrogate mother and use his sperm for fertilization. This way, the child will be having both of your genes. The role of the surrogate mother will be to carry your child for safe delivery. There is a clinic in Kiev with excellent surrogacy programs. Talk to your husband about it and see what he thinks. Wish you the best.
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that you are not alone. So many women in the world are going through similar problems. I personally think adoption is a great idea, but if your husband is against it, then there's no use. Try convincing him. Another option is surrogacy. With that, his concern of genes would also be resolved.
Aww dear! I just read your entire post. Just don't take it hard on yourself. It's not that bad. There are other women like you; I think you should be calm and start considering other options now. Don't be negative about things. Keep your hopes alive; you can become a mother; its just one way or another.
Your sotyr is super sad... I can only imagine the disappointment you felt during that period of your life. I would love to say things like it is over now and keep moving forwards... Sadly enough that isn't the case here. I know for a fact that losing a baby can haunt you for life. I am really sorry that you are going through this. However there is no other option but to move on? What else can you do? If not today and if not this way there will come a day that you'll be a mother. If for anything else just try to fight for you babies sake! I think that this has been a dream of yours for a long time, hasn't it? Again I am super sorry that this wasn't the chance for you to realize that dream... I assure you though that there will be another chance and you will make it. Whipe your tears off of your face and try your best to move on! God bless you love, hope this passes as soon as possible.
Girls, thank you for all these kind words. We are over this awful situation. Adoption is still not an option for us. But my husband agreed to try the surrogacy. As you all recommended we visited a couple of reproduction centers including the one in Kiev. They all look great but prices are so different. We were saving for some time but we still don't have enough money for the VIP package. We asked our parents to help us and they agreed. My mother supported me with my surrogacy idea. She really wants to have grandchildren. So, we are entering our surrogacy program in a couple of months. Any recommendations? What problems will we face? What should we pay attention to? I will appreciate any help, girls. I'm very scared, you know.
Dear Armani Please don’t feel bad about the situation. You are not alone here having this issue. I had this issue too. Millions of other people have infertility today. And I should tell you one thing, infertility is not actually an issue today. There are a lot of other options to have your child. Your child sharing your genes. And Infertility cannot keep you from having one. I will tell you about my experience. I tried to conceive for 3 years but it didn’t work out for me. My husband and I were very worried about the situation. We didn’t want to adopt a child because we wanted the baby to share our genes. So your husband’s point is totally understandable to me. We were looking for solutions. IVF was one of the solutions but I didn’t want to spend time on that as it fails sometimes. And we have already struggled for 3 years. My friend suggested me to go for surrogacy. In surrogacy, they take your eggs and your husband’s sperms, combine them in a tray and transfer the embryo into another woman’s womb. We had to go to Ukraine for surrogacy. That was our best experience. We went to BioTexCom clinic. That was the best clinic in Ukraine. They had the best staff and services. And the surrogate mothers, who will give birth to our babies, they keep them in such a good environment and provide them with best facilities. I will share the link of their website with you. I hope that it will help you. Wishing you best of luck. http://www.biotexcom.com
Hi Armani. I'm sorry to hear that. First of all, let me make one thing clear. The MC was not your fault. These things happen. So, don't feel guilty about it. It is sad to hear that the chances of another baby are so low. I am sorry for your loss. That said, you might want to consider getting a second opinion. You have only tried for a little while. It is too early to declare you unable to carry a child. If the second doctor gives the same diagnosis, then you might have to accept it. I see that adoption is not an option for you. Well, in that case you can go for surrogacy instead. There is a clinic which offers this service, BioTexCom. Check out their website for additional info: http://mother-surrogate.info/services/.
I am so sorry for your loss. I really am. It's such a tragedy. Just try to consult the specialists. Just make yourself calm and cool for future. Don't take tension. Just be relax and everything is going to be fine with you. Just try some exercises by watching you tube and just write whatever you required there and find help.
Hello honey! I'm so sorry to hear about your mc. I know how hard it is for you. I'm sorry you have to go through such thing. My husband and I were TTC for 9 years. I've got pregnant but because of my health condition(glomerulonephritis) I couldn't carry the whole pregnancy and give birth. There is nothing I can do to cure my kidneys to the point when I can carry my baby and have a healthy delivery. During these 9 years there were so many times when I wanted to give up. I even visited specialists who could help me to cope with the situation. Well it helped a bit, but after my loss I was so depressed I wanted to quit trying and live childless life. But I just can't imagine my life without children. I know exactly what you're talking about. Long TTC, my disease and infertility change me completely. Now I'm a different person then I was before. To be honest I don't like a person I became. I used to be very positive, funny. I loved life and I was always trying to find good side in everything. Now I am sad, upset, depressed, stressed and disappointed. I can't even say I live my life. I exist and wait for miracle to come into my life. I think "when I will have a child everything will change" or "I will be happy when I become mother”. Some people tell "find a distraction" or "enjoy every minute, everything is going like it's supposed to be" or "don't concentrate your whole life on infertility and then you will definitely get what you want". I don't think it works that way. At least for me it never worked. I should say now I feel a little bit better. The reason of it is that we found option which may help us to become parents. The idea of surrogacy came to our minds not so long ago. I feel much better knowing that there is a chance for us to have a baby. I'm only at the beginning of my journey. Actually it didn't even start yet. I do my best to find all information we will need in our journey. Did you think about options you can have in your situation? Maybe it's better to have a consultation with your doctor. He will probably advise you something or at least tell you what the exact reason of your infertility. You will know if you should continue trying for example ivf with your own eggs or maybe you should try donor eggs. Moreover there are still surrogacy and adoption left. I hope you will find the best option which will suit your situation. I wish you best of luck!
Hello hun! I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. I know how it feels. I had 3 miscarriages. I still can't recover from unbearable pain inside. I was very scared to get pregnant again. I had a very deep depression and problems with mental health. My DH and I decided to turn to surrogacy. Actually that was not only our decision but also doctors advise and my health' indicators. Someone may say we "gave up" too fast. But we decided it will be better for me, for us and for our family. I wish you all the best with your TTC process!
Ohh, Sorry for your miscarriage. I know how it feels when we expect something and it doesn’t happen. Every woman has a dream to become a mother. If you have lost it is not your fault. No one woman want that it happens to her. So why are you blame yourself? At this time, you need the support of your husband. If you want to adopt a baby it is not a bad option. But if your husband did not agree with the decision, choose another option. Moreover, Surrogacy is also the best option for you. In this process, a surrogate mother gives the birth to the child of the couples that cannot get pregnant or have infertility issues. Discuss it with your husband. Hope they will understand you. A number of couples enjoying the happiness of parenthood with the surrogacy. Search for clinics that are providing this kind of treatments in different countries like US, Ukraine.It is your decision to make a choice which one is better to get the treatment or adoption.May you find the best option for you. Be positive and Take care of yourself. Good Luck.
Hello dear! I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I faced infertility. I know how it feels when no one around understand your feelings. They just don't get it. For them giving birth was easy peasy lemon squeezy. They don't even imagine how hard ttc is for us. We were trying for 9 years before I got pregnant. And all that time while we were trying I heard those words. "Stop trying so hard", "pregnancy is all you're thinking about", "just concentrate on something else" etc. Those words were driving me crazy. It seemed to me no one understood what I'm going through. They were getting pregnant and giving birth one after another. And I was just staying there apart from them and didn't understand what am I doing wrong? When I finally got pregnant I was over the moon. My husband and I were so happy. We couldn't believe that it's finally our turn to become parents. We were sure everything will be perfect. We believed we deserved to finally be happy. I didn’t even catch a moment when everything went wrong. I had suffered from internal bleeding, which doctors have not diagnosed in time. So on the seventh month of pregnancy placental abruption occurred. Doctors had to remove the fetus along with the uterus. It's been 3 years already... But it feels like it was yesterday. I still can't hold back my tears when I think about it. Even now I'm crying like crazy. Everyone keeps telling me "just let it go", "you will get better soon", "just distract yourself ", "it happens to many women", "there is nothing you can do about it so leave it in the past". It is so easy for them to tell that things. They don't even understand that those words make the situation for me even worse. I can't let it go. I will feel and carry this pain through my whole life. There is nothing in this world which can distract me or make me to forget. I just hope that with time I will be able to somehow control this pain and my emotions. That's why we decided that it's time for us to move on. I feel like surrogacy will give us a chance to live but not exist in pain.
Hello dear! I'm so sorry for your situation. I'm in the same boat and I know how hard it is for you. I recognized myself in your post. My life is the same. I had 6 miscarriages. I lost 6 children… I hate myself for this. I don’t understand why me? What have I done to suffer like this? All of my friends have families. They have kids, they have everything! And here I am who can’t even carry my own child. Of course I’m happy for them! Sometimes they ask me to stay with their kids, when they have work or some other staff. I love to play with them, read fairytales and buy toys for them. I feel so happy at that moment! I imagine how it would be if my children were alive, with us… We were advised to use surrogacy. Now I'm collecting information about it. We hope to start our journey on October. Both my and his parents are against this idea. It would be much easier if they supported us. Well at least we have each other and we are onboard together. Dear, I hope you'll find option which will suit both of us and make you happy parents! Good luck!
